"Before & After"
(Yes, now you too can work the wonders of restorative magic!.)
(Surface Prep - the "Officially Unofficial Assero Version")
Sidle on up to your new project. Behold the project.
Take a "Before" picture of the project. This is the last time you'll see it in this condition.
Let your project know - this is a "Condition Restoration Intervention", and that you're here to help.
Now ... Behold the surface. Revile the surface. Say "Asta-la-vista" to the surface as you know it.
Clean the surface, buff the surface, sand the surface, rinse the surface, dry the surface, analyze the surface.
Still don't like the surface? Repeat as necessary.
Take another picture and admire your initial surface preparation.
Before proceeding any further - Read The Instructions. Yes, All of them.
Ensure your room is properly ventilated. Is the fan and ventilation system turned On??
Dress with the proper protective and safety gear.
Unless of course you wish to be nano protected as well.
Not that you wouldn't want to be, but THIS nanotech procedure is ONLY for inanimate objects. Sorry.
Note - for those who dismiss this warning, there may be side effects. We're not saying what kind. You'll find out soon enough.
For those who prefer to watch the process (er, "supervise" ... sorry), it is suggested and highly recommended that you do not giggle, snicker, sneer, laugh or otherwise guffaw at girls (or women) who choose to wear Pink protective gear.
We understand that you don't understand, but she will not understand that you do not show some understanding, and your lack of understanding will be understood to require some understanding behavioural modification ... understand?
As long as her gear meets the appropriate recommended safety guidelines, that's all that matters.
Just remember, and repeat 3x as necessary - Colour Is Irrelevant.
Plus they might "accidentally" spray you. Teehee - Ooops! Grin.
Before coating procedure begins, remove other items from the room that you don't want sprayed.
You know, like your four-legged supervisor/overlord - meow, or best friend - woof!
Next - spray the cool Nano "stuff" onto surface with a nice, easy, steady sweeping motion, allowing a bit of overlap with each pass.
Do Not spray circles, swirlies, figure 8's or doodle patterns.
Allow the first application to dry for 10 - 15 minutes (or 24 hrs, did you read the Instructions?) before applying 2nd layer.
Do Not use a blow torch to speed the drying process.
By the way, you didn't leave your lunch lying around in the same room ... did you??
Clean up any mess you made. Your mom will be proud, and your co-workers won't be annoyed.
Well, maybe except for the one who claims that he can't function if it's not a chaotic mess (there's always one in the bunch).
Otherwise, just put things back where you got them. You'll be able to find them again (probably).
This will avoid future stress and loud cussing noises.
Step back and admire your handiwork. Take an "After" picture (you remembered to remove the lens cap - right?).
If someone helped you, high-5 them and pat them on the back.
If you did it all by yourself, pat yourself on the back!
If you can't reach your back, find a friend who can pat you on the back (and then sign up for a Yoga class - go regularly).
Tell your boss how you've just protected his assets.
If he smiles with gratitude, don't wait ... ask for a raise immediately. If he accepts, say "Thank You".
Under normal circumstances, he will say "Oh No ... Thank YOU".
Don't expect or wait for this response though.
You are now the new Nano-Protective Engineering & Technical Specialist (N-PETS) of your firm and will be highly regarded, but not revered. At least not openly. What? It's not like you invented it or anything.
Expectations my friend, expectations. Stay real.
In the meantime ...
Do a quick Irish Jig (or similar) if you feel inclined to do so. If others are nearby, do not invite them to join you.
Go enjoy a beer, you've earned it! Invite others to join you.
Keep smiling, it's a gift from the gods and must be shared.
(By the way ... you still need a haircut.)