"Au" Material - it's Golden, eh!


If you've managed to find this page, eg. - by chance, fluke, accident, mistake, fumble, butter-mouse-clicker-fingers, virtual-computer-mind-meld, intuition, etc., or perhaps by way of, or through a secret "Blue-Bird" tip or a friendly share,

 ... Congratulations!

The content & pages below represent preliminary humorous "filler" content that was created during the initial stages of construction of the site. Why? ... \\Shrug// ...

Where it comes from is anybody's guess (including the creator of said content).

It was not originally planned or intended to be official material for the site (er, well ... okay some of it was).

But due to overwhelming and mostly-popular demand, it has been preserved here.

What exactly is it? Well ...

Officially speaking, it is Assero's Unofficial (Au) material, eg - it's pure gold.

Au material are nuggets of content that were not deemed on-point, relevant, appropriate or germane for use within the main site, given the nature of the target audience, and the focus of Assero's launch-phase marketing activities and objectives. Does that mean it's not worthy or valuable in its own context? That, of course, is something only you may answer. So, that being said, and without further ado - Read On ...

Question - Will more of such material be appended, lumped, dumped, contributed, congealed, curated (a term used in art galleries, but it sounds more like something done to bacon) and/or otherwise added into this section?

Answer - Quite possibly, kinda, pretty much, most more than likely, probably yeah fer sher, eh. Maybe.


Assero - The Premiere Industrial Coating Company

The Evolution of Coatings

( The Officially Unofficial Historical Diagramatic Version )

From The Beginning

  • We were coated with hair. It was thick and all was good (except for when it rained).

  • Sometimes pesky flying or crawling critters would bother us ... so we'd coat ourselves in mud to keep them at bay. Some people actually still enjoy "mudding" to this day (hey, who are we to judge?).

Fast Forward a couple million years (or something to that effect)

  • We lost some hair, and then some more, so we resorted to coating ourselves with captured prey. It didn't smell great, but it did the trick (it was also tasty).

  • We also learned to use mountains as coats, eg. - caves (these coats came in earthy tones, kept the rain off and protected us from the elements, but tended to be drafty).

Fast Forward a few hundred thousand years (or more)

  • We "civilized" ourselves, joined into groups and tribes and stayed in one place (more or less, mostly).

  • We increased our coating protection with permanent shelters in locations of our choosing (well, they weren't that permanent and tended to ... mmm ... decay quickly).

  • Thatched roofs and mud coatings provided more protection from the elements and were much more comfortable than caves. Lots of upkeep and maintenance was required however (plus bugs could get in).

Fast Forward a few centuries (give or take)

  • Our structures had become much larger and pretty much permanent (well, relatively speaking related to our lifetimes). Some more so than others. We learned to make use of a wide array of materials to construct and build our shelters with. We are even "sheltered" when we travel now (well then, aren't we the smart ones).

  • We then had more time to coat our shelters (kinda like coating our coats) with increased protective finishings. These coatings made our shelters and vehicles and stuff more durable (plus now they looked real perdy).

Fast Forward about a decade or two (pretty much)

  • Our coatings have just taken a quantum leap forward. Advanced scientific research has resulted in the development of densely crosslinked 3D nanostructured polymers that provide protection for a wide variety of valuable assets that are important in the daily functioning of our hyper-linked and interdependent global society (and perhaps some "non-essential" stuff that is only important to a few - hey, one person's simple want is another's essential "neeeed" - we're not here to categorize).

  • These remarkable products offer superior durability, UV resistance, abrasion resistance, chemical protection, corrosion protection, are practically self-cleaning (no, they don't take out the garbage or do the dishes for you) ... and they maintain the original luster, gloss and great looks of our important investments (eg. - now stuff can still be looking perdy, even after a decade and more!).

And there you have it! The intensively researched (cough), scientifically and archaeologically documented (really?), triple-verified (mumble), indisputable (hunh?), highly respected (mmmHmm), Officially Unofficial Historical Diagramatic Evolution of Coatings. As developed over the eons by the intelligent and advanced race of human beings of planet Earth. And made available by your friendly team at Assero.

Frequently Asked Questions



1 - What is the origin of the name of your company? How did you choose this name?

We will let you figure that out on your own if you have some spare time. Let us know what you come up with. If you are incorrect, we will not reply. If, on the other hand you are correct with your assumption, your flat out throw-a-dart-at-the-wall-and-see-if-it-sticks guess, and/or your hard research work ... we will confirm as much. There are no prizes or anything, but we will acknowledge your credible and superior skills of deductive reasoning, and give you a Virtual High 5!


1 - Why ... ?

Because. (Ask a vague question, get a vague answer.)

2 - How is the weather over there?

Not sure, stuck in front of a screen, haven't looked outside yet. How is it over there?

3 - Is Toronto really pronounced "To-raw-na"?

No, it's "Tor-on-to". And the "to's" are pronounced like "toe", not "too" ... unless of course you've been up late, speak "street", or are just pretending to be a local.

4 - Were your nano products inspired by channeling the universal intelligence and knowledge provided by Mork from Ork?

Umm ... No.

5 - The nano from above is pretty small, is anything smaller?

Yes, there are even smaller "tidbits" of matter called quarks. And "string theorists" hypothesize that everything is made up of even smaller exotic stuff called strings that each vibrate with different energy levels. And yeah, strings are not spherical particles, but actually shaped like strings (not the kind your cat plays with - or you, why should cats have all the fun?).

What's even more amazing, is that apparently all the matter of the entire universe: our whole planet, our vast solar system, our light-years-across galaxy, all galaxies (multi, multi billions of them) - basically Everything, Everywhere in all of its hugeness and mind-boggling immensity - was once condensed into a teeny, tiny point of unfathomable density just prior to the Big Bang.

And now that we've just fried your brain tyring to make sense of that (assuming you didn't know that prior to just now), we suggest you get back to work.

6 - How big is the universe?

Infinitely large. And quite possibly ... there is more than one.

(Irrelevant and unrelated to anything? You decide.)

Applications - Marine

Marine Applications

Upgrade your maintenance program ... and you'll never worry about "shivers in your timbers" again!

Amazing and beautiful as it is, anyone who has been to sea knows it's one of the most inhospitable places on the planet. The forces at work are strong beyond reckoning, and the mercy they show to marine vessels is usually little to non-existent. Indeed, an unforgiving ocean can quickly turn your decks into wrecks if you don't stay on top of a regular maintenance program.

Another factor that can cause one to frown, fret and feel frustrated is the sea life that loves to attach itself to the hull of your vessel(s).  These free-riding underwater stowaways love trips to the next bay over yonder, or to an exotic port on the other side of the world (who wouldn't?) They can gum up working engine parts, greatly increase the drag placed on the hull of your ship, increase fuel consumption and, therefore, your operating costs as well.

Wild winds, battering waves, corrosive sea salt and other pollutants are a boat's worst enemies. And there hasn't been a truly long lasting defense against this onslaught for your vessel(s) - until now. Contact Assero today and we won't sugar coat anything ... we'll Nano-coat it!

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